| Grief Work |
I did have a period when I had to deal with grief-related anxiety. In 2007, I had a
health problem that my doctor was trying to diagnosis. I was in pain many days. In
September, I had to have my two cats (16 and 18) euthanized three weeks and one day
apart. In between I was in the emergency room and having more tests. My brain and
body could not handle my grief and my concern over my health. I chose to focus on my
health.
When my health issues were resolved with a positive outcome, my grief and anxiety hit
me full force. I had a PTSD reaction and called 911 on New Year's Eve 2008 for the first
time in years. Another 911 call in March 2009 told me I had to finally start working on
my grief and the anxiety that was developing from it. At that point, I was at almost
seven years of recovery from Panic Disorder and was determined not to go backwards.
In both my professions as an Anxiety Wellness Mentor and a Personal Assistant, I seem
to be drawn to clients experiencing grief. Loss of a spouse, child, parent or a beloved
family pet. I also see the anxiety that arises when one is grieving. Loss brings up so
many emotions that, at times, the body cannot handle it and the anxiety kicks in. I am
always respectful of whatever feelings or emotions arise when my client is dealing with
all the stages of grief. Something my clients really appreciate is that they can talk
about their spouse as little or as much as they want. Sometimes they don’t get that
support from friends who aren’t comfortable with the subject and tell them the old cliché,
“it takes time, but you’ll get over it.”
I worked with an 85-year-old woman who lost her husband about a year and a half
before we met. She couldn’t drive so she didn’t socialize much. The people she did
socialize with kept telling her she would get over it. They would try to force her to
celebrate holidays when she couldn’t bear the thought of celebrating without her
husband. On our errand-running days, she and I would talk about her husband. She
would show me pictures of when they were together and how much he loved cars and
planes. She would tell me that she could, at times, still feel and see him in their house.
How could she not? They were together for 50 years and he had only been gone a
year and a half. She really appreciated and enjoyed our conversations abut her
husband.
Grief brings up many emotions like anxiety, depression, anger and fear. What I’ve
learned is that some of these emotions may relate to similar emotions from the past that
were not satisfactorily resolved. An analogy I thought of recently is to have the person
view the particular emotion like a dandelion. You can cut the top off the dandelion but if
the root is still intact, the dandelion will grow back. The emotion is the same way.
Unless a person gets to the root of their particular emotion, it’s bound to pop up again
when similar situations arise.
I pride myself on working at a pace that is comfortable for my client. I never force an
issue that seems to make them uncomfortable. My job is to help them formulate a
game plan, if you will, to work out a step-by-step approach to help them resolve their
emotions in an effective, efficient manner but always one that works best for them.
There is no one-size-fits-all solution or program and that’s why I work with my clients
with a more personalized approach. I’m part of their team or Recovery Team as I like to
refer to it. Healing takes time but I believe that when a person has a great Recovery
Team, the healing will happen.
Here is a testimonial from one of Karen’s clients:
Karen started working for me in March of 2004 when my husband had to
be placed in an assisted living facility. I needed help with shopping, running
errands, pet care, even changing light bulbs. About a month later, my
husband died and Karen's functions changed dramatically. She made calls
to the insurance companies, hospitals... all the agencies involved. She helped
me take care of the mounds of paperwork that I had no time or energy to
handle.
Karen was happy to let me talk about my husband if I felt like it and
respected me when I didn't want to talk. She was patient, sensitive,
supportive and allowed me to decide about donating my husband's
belongings on my time frame, when I was ready.
Karen helped me cope with an extremely intense, emotional time. I am very
grateful to her and have highly recommended her to people in need.
health problem that my doctor was trying to diagnosis. I was in pain many days. In
September, I had to have my two cats (16 and 18) euthanized three weeks and one day
apart. In between I was in the emergency room and having more tests. My brain and
body could not handle my grief and my concern over my health. I chose to focus on my
health.
When my health issues were resolved with a positive outcome, my grief and anxiety hit
me full force. I had a PTSD reaction and called 911 on New Year's Eve 2008 for the first
time in years. Another 911 call in March 2009 told me I had to finally start working on
my grief and the anxiety that was developing from it. At that point, I was at almost
seven years of recovery from Panic Disorder and was determined not to go backwards.
In both my professions as an Anxiety Wellness Mentor and a Personal Assistant, I seem
to be drawn to clients experiencing grief. Loss of a spouse, child, parent or a beloved
family pet. I also see the anxiety that arises when one is grieving. Loss brings up so
many emotions that, at times, the body cannot handle it and the anxiety kicks in. I am
always respectful of whatever feelings or emotions arise when my client is dealing with
all the stages of grief. Something my clients really appreciate is that they can talk
about their spouse as little or as much as they want. Sometimes they don’t get that
support from friends who aren’t comfortable with the subject and tell them the old cliché,
“it takes time, but you’ll get over it.”
I worked with an 85-year-old woman who lost her husband about a year and a half
before we met. She couldn’t drive so she didn’t socialize much. The people she did
socialize with kept telling her she would get over it. They would try to force her to
celebrate holidays when she couldn’t bear the thought of celebrating without her
husband. On our errand-running days, she and I would talk about her husband. She
would show me pictures of when they were together and how much he loved cars and
planes. She would tell me that she could, at times, still feel and see him in their house.
How could she not? They were together for 50 years and he had only been gone a
year and a half. She really appreciated and enjoyed our conversations abut her
husband.
Grief brings up many emotions like anxiety, depression, anger and fear. What I’ve
learned is that some of these emotions may relate to similar emotions from the past that
were not satisfactorily resolved. An analogy I thought of recently is to have the person
view the particular emotion like a dandelion. You can cut the top off the dandelion but if
the root is still intact, the dandelion will grow back. The emotion is the same way.
Unless a person gets to the root of their particular emotion, it’s bound to pop up again
when similar situations arise.
I pride myself on working at a pace that is comfortable for my client. I never force an
issue that seems to make them uncomfortable. My job is to help them formulate a
game plan, if you will, to work out a step-by-step approach to help them resolve their
emotions in an effective, efficient manner but always one that works best for them.
There is no one-size-fits-all solution or program and that’s why I work with my clients
with a more personalized approach. I’m part of their team or Recovery Team as I like to
refer to it. Healing takes time but I believe that when a person has a great Recovery
Team, the healing will happen.
Here is a testimonial from one of Karen’s clients:
Karen started working for me in March of 2004 when my husband had to
be placed in an assisted living facility. I needed help with shopping, running
errands, pet care, even changing light bulbs. About a month later, my
husband died and Karen's functions changed dramatically. She made calls
to the insurance companies, hospitals... all the agencies involved. She helped
me take care of the mounds of paperwork that I had no time or energy to
handle.
Karen was happy to let me talk about my husband if I felt like it and
respected me when I didn't want to talk. She was patient, sensitive,
supportive and allowed me to decide about donating my husband's
belongings on my time frame, when I was ready.
Karen helped me cope with an extremely intense, emotional time. I am very
grateful to her and have highly recommended her to people in need.
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